“You have finally the alternative to your false self. You are like Jacob awakening from sleep and joining the chorus of mystics in every age. ‘You were here all along, and I never knew it!’ he says. (Genesis 28:16) He anoints the stone pillow where this happened and names it ‘Bethel’.”

-Father Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamond

In April of 2011, I had my own “Bethel”. I had a distinct life-changing experience that literally and figuratively brought me to my knees in shame and defeat. The best part of going through a horrifically embarrassing, humbling, and agonizing time is that once you let yourself be totally broken down (privately or publicly or both), and admit and accept that your life is a shattered mess of shards, the rebuilding can begin. So it’s not a rebuilding of old structures, it’s actually a brand new construction, and I had the honor of being the architect of the project. I had the privilege of deciding what I wanted to let into my new structure, including people, places and things. Fresh page, fresh vision. New playgrounds, new playmates. The False Selves (ego, masks) have been identified, and I realized just how shallow and fear-based that life was. In exchange, I now engage in pursuits and behaviors and learning materials that radically and continually open the heart and the spirit and take me deeper into new gardens of growth, and a continual removal of the roots of old behaviors. Buried under those roots is a precious and beautiful diamond that I continue to mine for every day. Similar to the 12 Steps, it just starts with a simple “HOW.” (Honesty, Openness and Willingness.) 

Because every setback is a set up for a great comeback, I find that “Weak” is the new “Strong”.