RECOVERY

There’s an African Zulu greeting, “sawubona”, which means “I see you.” Not just visually, but it’s a deeper seeing: it’s more like, ‘I see you as a person, I see your humanity and your divinity, I see your soul, and our connected oneness’.”  

This recovery page is for everyone. Not just the workaholics, alcoholics, pornaholics, foodaholics, shopaholics, etc. It’s for loved ones supporting addicted family members, or those looking for more information about addiction and self-sabotaging behaviors. It’s for those who are currently in recovery of some kind, would like to be in recovery of some kind, or know that they need to be in recovery but aren’t.  This page is also for those in denial, AKA the martyrs: the ones blaming others for everything in their lives, the ones pouting and feeling sorry of themselves, crying out, “You would drink (or shop or eat for comfort, etc.)  too if you had MY _________ (fill in the blank with ‘life’, ‘spouse’, ‘kids’, ‘situation’, ‘background’, ‘parents’, ‘job’, and the list goes on ad infinitum.)

But mostly, this page is dedicated to those making valiant efforts to try and look, sound, and feel put together in hopes that no one will catch onto their secret: that when they look in the mirror or in the dark quiet of a sleepless night, they can’t picture life without their vice(s). Waking up every day becomes like Groundhog Day as they try to carry on, as difficult as it is to try to ignore that sinking, horrific feeling that they are betraying the very essence of who they are. They secretly know their vice(s) of choice is/are just a band-aid covering the gaping open wound.  Alcohol, food, porn, sex, shopping, gambling- whatever it is that’s their “drug of choice” becomes a synthetic, temporary answer to the painfully obvious realization that there is major therapeutic soul-level work to be done: intensive counseling, or working through the 12 steps. Whatever road to recovery they choose. The crack in the hard shell of denial is a secret suspicion that in order to live their best life, it’s necessary to get to the root issues that have poisoned their life for years, and yet sometimes it’s just too painful to face. So, the easy way out is to try to ignore that nagging feeling, indulge in their addiction or habit, and pretend like they're ok. Again. And they're exhausted. If that’s you, I get it. I see you, and whether you decide to make changes or not, this page and these stories and resources are for you. Sawubona.