Sanity Savers Series: Sane In The Sand

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -Thomas Edison
​
Before Istanbul became Constantinople, Andrew and I became parents. We both had visions of the magical beach memories we had gathered from our childhoods. Andrew grew up in Melbourne, Australia, and I grew up in the Silicon Valley in CA, so we were both less than an hour from the beach. Fast forward to having our first baby: we had ten million expectations, (which of course we realized later were merely ticking time bombs of premeditated resentments) and chiefly we wanted to make memories traveling with our kids. I could write a book longer than “War and Peace” listing the top 942 billion horrific parenting mistakes we have made along the way, and the chapter on “Mishaps When Traveling With Children” would perhaps be one of the longest. 

An Executive Career in the Airline Industry and 8 Kids later, you could say we have learned a little thing or two about traveling with kids.  Beach vacations are still some of our top favorite trips to take, but I can assure that was not always the case, and we had to blaze a trail of mostly failures before we found some things that worked well for us. Remember that beaches have sand. Which, with kids, is both beautiful and logistically frustrating at the same time… kind of like having children! Staying sane in the sand begins with a beachy attitude. Channeling a laid-back, “No Worries Mate” state of mind is the key. If you’re convinced you’re going to reenact the “Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii”, you may as well drink a gallon of Mountain Dew laced with arsenic and pray for a quick death. Instead, do your best to make what I like to call a “Skeleton” of a plan that is both somewhat structured, yet flexible at the same time, and one that is not going to crush you if parts of it collapse-because they will.

The factors that crush the Skeleton of a beach vacation are any number of things you can’t control. These are things like weather, illness, injury, general child crankiness, to name a few. Since there are a few things you CAN control, like your attitude and the equipment you bring, why not just focus on controlling those entities? If the stars align and you happen to also get healthy kids and good weather, that’s just the cherry on top.

So we talked about the “No Worries Mate” attitude. Now we’ll talk practical equipment. Unless you visit a beach in a third world country, don’t worry about bringing everything from home, because you can always buy most things at your destination. (I’m just weird and I LOATHE going to the store for necessities while on vacation.) The solution to that, of course, is online grocery delivery to your destination, which will have to be a topic for another blog in this Sanity Savers Series: “Staying Sane on a Family Vacay.” But I digress. The point is, you have to divide up what you can purchase at your destination, and what is worth hauling with you. Usually, the Mason-Dixon line on determining this is making a list (mental or written) of the items that you consider to be non-negotiable “essentials”. From that list, it should be fairly easy to identify the items that you will not be able to find at the local ABC Store or through safeway.com Delivery. Things like diapers, sunscreen, etc. can easily be added to an online grocery order.

There are 4 Components of our Beach Stuff that I bring with me when we travel to a “beachy” location. Somehow even if those 4 things are loaded down like the back of a pickup truck en route to the city dump, I can manage to remember all 4 components and that’s the basic definition of a miracle, people. And because I need all the memory tricks available, the 4 categories all begin with the letter C:

1-Camping Tent. (In actuality, it’s a Beach Tent- I go camping NEVER. But I wanted it to begin with the letter C to make it easier on my brain.)
2-Chair (s).
3-Colossal Mesh Bag.
4-Cooler.

I will also list the items that I keep in each of those 4 categories. But first, yes, here it is, the disclaimer alert! I am NOT paid for mentioning any of these items below. If you know me well you know I’m a huge fan of convenience, for obvious reasons with a family our size. I have been known to say on a regular basis: “If it’s not on Amazon, I don’t need it.” I want to ensure that you know any product I like has NOT been given to me to try for free & write reviews, nor am I getting any discount for mentioning it, and Amazon doesn’t know me at all other than any other random prime member.

It’s important for me to build and maintain trust with my readers- so I want to make it clear that this blog and any products I like are simply mentioned friend to friend, and for fun and for free.


1-Camping Tent.
OK, are you ever so late to a trend it’s actually embarrassing? Well, that’s me ALL the time. Case in point, just 2 years ago I realized these camping/beach tents are all the rage. We went the beach of my childhood, Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and for a second I thought we had accidentally driven to the Coachella Music Festival. Nope- just a whole gaggle of camping/beach tent converts. Intrigued, I purchased one and now I see why they are such a life changer. First of all, beach umbrellas: I mean, they are inconvenient, they don’t work for more than 2 people, they NEVER stay in one place, there’s always a part missing or a broken spoke, not to mention looking like a fool trying to “screw” this dumb thing into the sand only to have it collapse and blow away 3 minutes later, proving all your sweating and swearing while screwing totally fruitless- need I say more?

I’m a shade girl since I’m over 40. Andrew is white and glowing AF—uh, er, I mean, he is fair skinned. And therefore my kids are all “Seattle-White.” (that is the translucent shade on the skin tone color wheel). Clearly, none of us bake in the sun for hours with baby oil like the old days when I was in high school. The A-Team has the Pacific Breeze Pop Up Tent - which is totally non-reminiscent of those horrific torture devices of the camping suffocation of yesteryear from the 1980’s that anyone my age who camped as a child remembers with disdain. What’s more, my husband calls it, “idiot proof” in terms of set-up/tear down. We set up the tent (by that I mean my husband or my teens set it up) with the opening facing the water, and then I (they) place chairs in front of the opening so the shade works for the chair occupants as well.  Then the blanket (see below) is placed in front of the chairs. If needed, the Play Yard for baby (mentioned later) goes inside the tent for shade. The entire set up works beautifully for us, although admittedly it *does* remind one of those RV travelers who cheerfully set up an entire porch patio set, complete with a fake grass welcome mat, potted plants, and one of those neon buzzing bug zappers outside their door.

-Oversized “Sand Averse” Beach Blanket.  These are almost like a huge parachute for the beach. So many brands and they are very similar.  The one we have is the WildHorn Beach Blanket. This thing is basically a Sand Hater.  Random Side Note:  Does anyone else hear Hall & Oats magically begin playing in their head after I said “Sand Hater”? (“whoa-oh, here she comes, she’s a sand hater!”) Bueller? No? Just me? OK, just checking.

Anyway, it’s ginormous, very lightweight, and basically repels sand. The bag that it comes with is actually sewed directly onto the blanket. You cannot appreciate how convenient this is unless you’ve experienced the fresh hell of being ready to head home and being thrilled to discover the dumb blanket bag has mysteriously disappeared. Naturally! Because when you’re exhausted and ready to haul ass home, it has vanished- the perfect finale to a day at the beach! (insert exaggerated eye roll here.) You get the point! A couple of other cool things: the blanket also comes with a handy waterproof phone/key bag, and there are pockets lining the blanket which you can stuff with sand in order to avoid your stuff blowing away like the tornado that swept up Dorothy’s House in the “Wizard of Oz.”

Even better, when the tent is packed up in its’ drawstring case, there are about 5 extra inches of “un-used” bag at the top. Read: extra space!  So here’s what you do: Shove the blanket into its brilliantly sewn-on bag, and then grab the tent in it’s carrying case and pop it right cozily into those top 5 inches that remain. It’s a cozy fit but then again, the tent and the blanket are BFF’s and so now they’re “reunited and it feels so good."

-Gallon Sized Ziploc Bags. This is, like, the best. Know what weighs a lot (besides me right before I give birth)?  WET SAND. So, as previously mentioned, the beach blanket with the pockets that can be lined with sand is a brilliant idea.  Know what an even BETTER idea is? To stash (and reuse, time after time) some Gallon Sized Ziplocs in the pockets, and fill them with WET SAND when you are setting up. You can even bring extras to weigh down the Camping Tent if it’s a super windy day(pssst!! Guess what- the camping tent has pockets for sand too!!!!) #winning. When you’re ready to pack up? Dump the sand out, stuff the bags back in the pockets and you’re good to go.


2-Chair(s).
I’m Over Forty + The Fact that I’m the Mom = I am past the days of lying on a towel in the sand. Therefore, it’s a guarantee that I’ll be packing a “suitcase-friendly” beach-worthy chair of some kind. (must fit in a suitcase folded up- like the Coleman Beach Ground Mat). Because I’m all about solidarity, I’ll also bring one for the other adults. I’m not loyal to any “suitcase-friendly” brand in particular, but this beach chair must have 2 non-negotiables: a 1) A Cooler Pocket, (used to keep towels and other compact items sand free) And 2) A Carrying Strap/Backpack Straps: If you can’t carry that chair on your shoulder or back, Option B is to drag it through the sand like a dead body….and to that idea I say “Over My Dead Body!” Oh, and PS: Seating for kids? It’s called “dig a hole in the sand and place your butt in it.”

Side Note: For the Preggos: Unless you’re “Amy’s-first-4-babies-in-her-twenties” kind of flexible (Defined as the ability to basically perform Jazzercize on the way to the delivery room), I would NOT use a Coleman ground Mat-or any other low beach chair, for that matter. No, no. no. Life is too short to be uncomfortable more than absolutely necessary for 9 whole months. So if you fall into the category of  “Amy’s-last-4-babies-in-her-late-thirties/early-forties” kind of flexible (Defined as the Inability to do flipping anything off the couch, and you expect someone to give you the Heisman Trophy simply for showering and doing your hair), make sure the place where you’re going has a full-size camping chair to use or bring your own and check it as odd size baggage. Rent a cabana and order cheeseburgers all day. Bring pillows and a portable air conditioning unit For Pete’s Sake. Or do whatever you need to do so you can park yourself in a pregnancy-appropriate chair: i.e. one that is compliant with the “Americans with Disabilities Act” of 1990, AKA: a chair that is relatively easy to get in and out of…. AND one that features a generously sized area for your backside.

Inside the Pocket of Each Chair:

-Trash Bags: Generally about 4 are good for our size family. 1-2 for trash, the other 2-3 for dripping wet clothes/sandy laundry that you can’t rinse till you get home. (The goal here is to avoid a fate worse than death that I like to call “sandy car syndrome” at all costs…. explained in further detail at the end of this blog.) Or anything else that you need to bring home that isn’t disposable.   

-Microfiber Beach Towels: Dude, you guys. If you’re not on this bandwagon already, I highly recommend jumping on. Everyone’s Doing It. (Just kidding!) Say hello to your new best friend: Microfiber Beach Towels. (Not soft and fluffy, BUT super ultra lightweight and easy to roll up and take several with you… I usually take 4 total and people just share.) They dry wet bodies FAST, and after you use them, the actual towels themselves dry FAST. If you keep them in the mandatory pocket on your chair, they stay clean and sand-free until their service is needed.

-Microfiber Robe for Kids: Question: “When departing the beach at the end of the day, do you change your kids into clean clothes/shoes?” Answer: Only if you enjoy hanging your own self by the toenails buck naked while simultaneously getting your back waxed. OH and BTW this is all happening while you’re being painted by a local artist in that precarious position on an oil canvas that will forever hang on your boss’s wall.

ICYMI, the answer is NO. The microfiber beach towels do a great job of taking the kid from super-saturated to semi-saturated. Then, we start packing up. During the time it takes to complete this process, the bodies have dried pretty well organically. Just before we head to the car, I pop a Magical Microfiber Robe on each child (buy one a little bit oversized.) The ones I get are like a poncho style— not particularly cute to look at, but super easy because the kid can shimmy out of their swimsuit with the robe on. Yes, they go home naked as the day they were born under that robe. The walk back to the car usually provides enough friction to naturally shake off most of the major sand offenses. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, certainly do not stop at 7-11 and get a free Slurpee simply because it happens to be July 11th.  Just go straight home where you will commence the sand removal process from every nook and cranny of every child… in the privacy of your own shower facilities.

-Swim Diapers: If needed.

Side Note: If you have like 3-4 chairs, consider throwing them together into a CMB (Colossal Mesh bag, which will be discussed below.) or otherwise bind them together to combine them into one of the Four Categories.


3-Colossal Mesh Bag:
I am freaking obsessed with these multi-purpose summer bags. You know the kind from your college days. Like, size XXXL will do. (At least for me, I refused to do laundry until it weight 84 million pounds and I literally could not stuff even one more pair of underwear in it.) This Colossal Mesh Bag (CMB) is a multifunctional rockstar, and it shines like nobody’s business for bulky, hard to carry items. I know you know what I’m sayin: you remember your high school gym teacher walking around with these filled with 92 basketballs. How would that ever be possible without the incredibly versatile mesh bag??!?! (Best part: You can keep everything in there and rinse the entire bag after packing everything up all sandy- and hang dry it to dry without removing one single item.) Love.


-Sand Toys: Grab a few sand toys from the Dollar Store before you leave (stack all buckets on top of each other and put shovels, rakes, etc. inside the buckets.) Or if you prefer to pick them up at your destination, by all means, you do you! Of course, if you’re so inclined, you *can* buy those nice, collapsible silicone buckets, but honestly? My old school method has worked flawlessly for me for years. (Plus, I can see myself suddenly getting all anal about buckets costing $17 for a set of 3. I imagine myself going all Miami Vice, chasing down any rogue kids at the beach trying to pull a Winona Ryder on my $6 buckets.) The beauty of the Made-in-China Dollar Store buckets is you could care less if your kid loses or breaks them, in fact, you get to toss them out or pass them onto another kid (as long as the parent isn’t fussed at the idea of their kid playing with some potentially toxic, chemical-emitting toys for a few days) at the end of the trip so you don’t even have to haul them home. Best ever!

-Flotation Devices for Older Kids/Tweens/Teens/Adults:  I have recently discovered the Aqua Monterey 4-in-1 Multi-Purpose inflatable Hammock Portable Float. These are VERY lightweight and easy to pack! Bonus tip: they are brilliant for the beach because they are compact and inflate/deflate quickly and easily, and they dry faster than a Parent of Teenagers driving away from the student drop off area on the first day of school.
-OR-
Here’s my tried and true method.  Bring cheap Dollar Store Lounge Rafts or Inflatable Innertubes. These often come in packs of two or three. I bring a couple of these and make kids share. Which they usually want to do anyway- they will pile 4 plus onto one raft, and that’s all part of the fun as they basically turn that thing into an overcrowded Titanic as they work together to try and pop it over the course of the day- which is well worth a dollar’s worth of entertainment for all, IMO.  (These Dollar Store Inflatables can be left at the destination and donated to another traveler, or placed in the trash.) Depending on your situation, it’s easier than hauling it home, so it’s up to you.

Side Note: I’ve done both methods, and the Cheap Dollar Store Lounge Inflatables are my preferred method for family trips, simply for the convenience factor of thanking them for their faithful service of a few days as I happily ditch them in the trash at the end of the day or the end of the trip- whichever comes first. ALSO: I’ll say it again for good measure, and you’ll see it one more time below because it’s really that important: DON’T FORGET the EFFING pump!!!

-Flotation Devices For Non-Swimmers: Stearns’ Original Puddle Jumper US Coast Guard Approved Life Jacket. I still have PTSD from endlessly blowing up arm floaties and practically dislocating my kids’ arms in an attempt to wedge my first 4 littles into some level of water safety.  I would have had fantastic blood pressure back in the day if only the Sterns’ Puddle Jumpers had existed back then. Alas, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?  The Stearns Puddle Jumpers literally work on all ages from age 1-4, depending on weight. They keep the non-swimmer totally afloat. If you start early by placing one of these on your non-swimmer for every activity involving a swimsuit, they will quickly start to think it is actually part of the swimsuit itself and will have no issues wearing it, at least in my experience. My 2 and 3-year-old boys play for hours in the sand with these on even when not actually physically in the water. Even though they take swim lessons, the peace of mind these bring is priceless.

*In a smaller, different colored drawstring mesh bag that you keep INSIDE the Colossal one: (Yes…. to clarify, this is a bag inside a bag.) Soooooo, technically this still qualifies as ONE item of four that way, am I right?!?! ;)

-Sunscreen: Depending on the size of the family. I usually bring 3-4 Sunscreen Face Sticks (because the little ones want to do their face at the EXACT same time.) and about 4 cans of Sunscreen Spray. (because each can, of course, has a different quantity of product in it from previous trips and the ONE time I only bring ONE can will be the time the nozzle decides to break on me, or there is literally only enough product left in the can for 1 person’s back and shoulders only.) Then, without warning, boom! It's suddenly empty- and one person looks like Ross from that “Friends” episode where he can’t figure out how to use the spray tan booth. (Of course, this also ensures the rest of us will go from “Glowing Vampire” to “Crispy Burnt Wonder Bread Toast” in about 3.5 minutes of direct sunlight.) Moral of the story=more cans of sunscreen than you think you’ll need. Toss all of this in the smaller, different colored drawstring mesh bag, which goes inside the CMB.

Side Note on sunscreen: You know, people, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I just get that chemical-laden kids’ “wet skin” spray.  I have tried every single organic sunscreen on the market, and you know what I concluded?  They are all a big pain in the ass in some way, shape or form. I am just not lathering my kids up enough times every single day to be significantly concerned about my kids getting cancer from a fine mist of occasional sunscreen use. But that’s me. We all have to pick our battles. You do you.

-Inflatable Pump: Here’s your final reminder: For the Love of God, People: DON’T FORGET the pump!  IT REALLY SUCKS big time if you forget it. Because guess who will be trying to blow up that Prancing Unicorn Floatie (which oddly tastes like gasoline) until you’re about 2 breaths away from passing out?  Yes….look in the mirror and point two thumbs directly at yourself. We parents may be full of hot air, but not quite THAT much. ;)

-Cheap, “Disposable” Flip Flops and Sunglasses:
This idea was born after packing for a day trip to Disneyland. We landed at John Wayne airport, hopped into a rental van, and our mood was all “Zip-a-dee-do-dah” and smiles on our way up the 55 Freeway…. until we parked- and it was discovered that *SOMEHOW* ALL four of the children I had at the time managed to LOSE at least ONE if not both of their SHOES.  At first, my mind could not comprehend this; we searched the van, we searched their bags. NO complete pairs of shoes. I interrogated them like a Russian Gestapo. NOT ONE of them could explain how their shoe(s) had vanished. They swear it wasn’t but I’ll never believe that it wasn’t a group effort. I’d like to say I kept my cool at that moment, but that would be a bold-faced lie. I went ballistic, like Chevy Chase from “Christmas Vacation” when his knucklehead cousin kidnaps his boss. The Happiest Place on Earth suddenly became the Most Pissed Off Place on Earth.

It’s already obvious that I’m parent of the year, but as further evidence, I’ll share with you that I ended up collecting myself eventually, realizing I had a choice- I could further ruin the day with my whining, or I could suck it up and buy cheap flip flops from a gas station. In my newfound benevolent state I also “took it up the shorts” and purchased crappy sunglasses for my Seattle babies who go blind in CA at the first ray of sunlight. I felt like a complete parental failure, until I realized hours later the silver lining. When walking past the many merchandise shops, I DID get to say “Oh, I’m terribly sorry you’d like that light up Jedi wand. Too bad we had to spend your souvenir money on flip flops.”   That was a “Love & Logic” mic drop moment right there. (BTW I’m pretty sure Moses’ tablets from God listed the best  “Love & Logic” Parenting Tricks right after the 10 Commandments, folks.)

Like many good ideas, that painful experience led me to realize the value of cheap/disposable sunglasses and flip-flops. It’s just nice to be able to keep a few spare pairs in our luggage. You can actually purchase these in bulk from Amazon, or in party stores-as they are often sold as party favors or wedding party items.  I keep a ton of these at home in a drawer in our garage. You know how some peeps don’t leave home without American Express? Well, we don’t leave home without extra pairs of cheap flip flops & sunglasses. Anyway, the point is, should you lose a 20 cent flip-flop in the ocean, or find that your child’s sunglasses have met an untimely burial by sand, at least you’re not out a bunch of money and frustration, because you can easily whip out some new ones.

Side Note: For those about to send me a lecture via email, let me save you from wasting your time: I am aware these are not the finest quality items that money can buy for one’s feet or eyes. Try to recognize it’s a short-term convenience for travelers, and the limited, occasional use has actually helped kids (mine at least) in the long run because they now see the value of taking care of their nicer things, and not having to spend their souvenir money on essentials. But you get to do you!

4-Cooler.
I’m a big fan of the rolling cooler- can you argue with practicality? I’m personally a fan of the “36 Quart Picnic at Ascot Ultimate Travel Cooler with Wheels.” It’s a soft sided cooler with a steel frame, so it’s not going to collapse on you. In my experience, (depending on the climate, I’m sure), It’s kept drinks cold all day with no leakage/condensation. The whole thing is totally collapsible, even the wheel cart folds down like a boss, and can be easily tossed inside a suitcase. (Insider Pro Travel Tip: Look like a serious packing baller and use it as your in-flight carry on: throw your purse or computer bag in there.)

Side Note: If you do use it as a carry-on, do yourself a favor and purchase the black one. It’s a bit hard to look like a baller with your sombrero-patterned lime-green-and-neon-pink cooler moonlighting as a piece of legitimate luggage.

*Inside the Cooler, the items are somewhat obvious, but here’s what we bring:

-Baby Food/Bottle/Nursing/Pumped Milk “Stuff”:  If needed.

-Snacks: Crudite with organic hummus, and a charcuterie board featuring organic pate’?  Um, NO.  There’s a time and place, folks and the beach isn’t it. I’m telling you, unless you naturally have a fruit eater, (I’m talking about a kid who would hands down grab an organic Asian Pear over a plate of Oreos and Gummy Worms, of their own free will), don’t even bother bringing the sliced English cucumbers and the tangelos from Whole Foods- just don’t waste the time money and energy!!! I’ve seen far too many friends trying to do the impossible sell job on fruit at the beach. Let me help you out: not gonna happen so save your breath for more important conversations, and your organic fruits and veggies for dinner at home. I promise you, the kids will survive an afternoon of vacation junk food eating. Plus, you will both have a better time! Just gotta let some things go sometimes.

Alternatively, you could borrow a page from the "Parenting Shortcuts for Slackers” Handbook, written by yours truly. Here are the snacks I bring: 79 bags of half-eaten chips that I’ve discovered hiding in my pantry. (I don’t know what it is about the beach but kids seem to HAVE to eat chips there.) Fine by me, but by God *someone* is gonna eat those halfway-to-destination “stale” Fritos that have been in there for the better part of 2 weeks. Plus: you know if you buy new chips, it’s an automatic guarantee that the first person to dive into the bag is going to do so with WET and SANDY fingers, thus ruining the entire bag for everyone else. That’s just a fact, people.  The other beach fave for my gang are those prepackaged Uncrustable Peanut Butter/Jelly sandwiches. Yes, they’re probably made in Satan’s kitchen, where he spends all day brewing up a huge pot of high fructose corn syrup. But hey, they’re too easy to pass up since you just open the box and throw them in the cooler frozen- they defrost by the time you get there.

-Drinks:  You know those cute yet ridiculous picnic sets from Williams Sonoma or Restoration Hardware? Yeah, when you have a big family or kids in general, most of us give those a hard PASS. This is the season of Everything Disposable, my friends. I’m talking paper plates, juice boxes, soda cans, water bottles. I know, I know, the recyclers and the granola moms hate me. It’s cool, I’ve done a lot of work around this and I don’t need to be liked by everyone anymore, all good! (Sorry, not sorry!) What can I say: It’s a no-brainer because it’s convenient for a large family. The sheer effort it would take to haul hand washable plastic tumblers, linen napkins rolled in gold-plated rings, neon poolside cutlery and cute acrylic plates with matching surfboard motif would be enough to exhaust you before you even made it to the end of your driveway.

-2-4 Microfiber Washcloths:  I personally own approximately 846, 992 of these multi-use cloths from Amazon Basics….. but you only need a few. Here’s what you do: Run them under the faucet and place in a Large Ziploc along with a couple of ice-cube companions. These are perfect for wiping off sandy hands before eating, as long as the sand is dry.  IF the sand is wet, there is a ridiculous yet amazing “sand mitt” available for purchase, which I’m surprised isn’t an “As Seen on TV” product. It looks like Michael Jackson’s glove, and I bet you could find a DIY version on Pinterest that you could make, if you’re craftily inclined, with an exfoliating mitt and some baby powder. For some mysterious reason both the microfiber cloth and the silly yet magical “sand mitt” both work WAY better for sand than baby wipes (which tend to just sort of spread the sand around). I’m not a scientist, I can’t explain it. It’s right up there with ufos and Area 51.

*And if you need it?  This item in it’s carrying bag- which you can clip to the cooler with a zip tie or a carabiner:

-Pop Up Play Yard: (If you have a child under 2ish).
There are a few brands out there, but we have the Summer Infant Pop n Play Portable Play Yard - and it’s your basic portable dream for containing kids 2 and under. EASY to pop up, like even I can do it- if you can operate an umbrella, you can set this up, I promise. (And I don’t think you’ll be shocked to hear that I rank LOW on the scale of handiness abilities.)You place it inside the tent for shade. Babies can nap and play in there, safely contained. Pain in the ass to bring it? #JesusTakeTheWheel, YES….But  Worth it? Absolutely.

Side note: If I do write a book someday, it’s most likely going to be called something like “845,337 uses for Carabiners and Zip Ties: And Why I’m so Unnaturally Obsessed with Microfiber.”  I know, I know!  Sounds like a real page turner!!! In all seriousness though, I’m a big believer that there are few problems too big for a Carabeaner or a Zip Tie (and a pair of Nail Clippers) to solve. The subtitle was chosen because I’m also convinced that microfiber is going to be the next “Little Black Dress.” But that’s another story.

Remember those many, many failures I eluded to? Well, the war on sand *might have* stemmed from a family who *may* or *may not* have once upon a time been charged a “Sand Fee” by Enterprise Rental Cars of Oahu about 15 years ago…. The charge might have read “Excessive Sand Found in Vehicle Upon Return.”  And perhaps that fee was a couple hundred dollars. Or something like that. Well. I’ll bet not too many have qualified for that distinguished title. Let me assure you, it takes *SKILL* to receive the honor of that very specialized accomplishment. I mean, I don’t want to brag, but I guess you could say we were one of the pioneers of plethoric sand procurement. Yeah, so, if you’re embarrassed by a few old fossilized french fries in the crevices of your parent-mobile, hopefully, you’re feeling better now….No Worries, Mate.

Life comes with enough struggles and challenges. Why make it even harder on yourself when you don’t have to? Try some of these beach hacks to help you stay sane in the sand because the majority of the embarrassing failures have already been shouldered by the A-Team for you. You’re Welcome.